Running on empty, not burnt out? Often it is decisions piling up

What is the difference between exhaustion and a decision backlog?

Exhaustion is a state of body and mood: you sleep badly, a weekend does not restore you, and things that used to be easy cost effort. A decision backlog is different. It builds up when several questions are open at once and none gets answered. Do I stay a partner, or do I go? Do I part with the colleague who has been with me for twelve years? Do I sell, or carry on until the children have made up their minds? Each question is solvable on its own; together they become a weight you carry into every meeting and every night. From the outside, everything runs. Inside, a loop runs.

A simple test: imagine three of your open questions were decided tomorrow, whichever way. Lighter? That points to a backlog. Still empty? That points to exhaustion: doctor first, conversation second.

Why many people reject the word burnout, and why that is fine

Many people in this situation reject the word, not out of pride but because it does not fit: they decide for clients, teams and patients every day. What is missing is the energy for their own decisions. A senior partner at a Zürich law firm can still argue a case; what she cannot answer is whether she wants to be a partner in five years.

Not wanting the label is fine. Whether exhaustion is an illness is for doctors and psychotherapists to judge, not for coaches or sparring partners. You do not need a diagnosis to take a decision that has waited for months. You do need a medical check if your body is sending signals.

What do Swiss figures say about exhaustion among employees and managers?

The figures show two things: exhaustion is common in Switzerland, and managers do not report it more often than others.

• The Job-Stress-Index 2022 by Gesundheitsförderung Schweiz (3’022 employed people aged 16 to 65) found 30.3 percent emotionally exhausted, above 30 percent for the first time since 2014; 28.2 percent were in the critical range. The study puts the cost to the economy at around CHF 6.5 billion a year.
• The Swiss Health Survey by the Federal Statistical Office shows the share of employed people who feel stressed at work rising from 18 percent in 2012 to 23 percent in 2022 (2022: 10’962 respondents).
• In “Wie geht’s, Schweiz?” by SRG and gfs.bern (2023, 57’778 participants, not a random sample), 17 percent of respondents aged 16 and over say they have experienced a work-related burnout; 25 percent of those in employment consider themselves at risk.
• In the Job-Stress-Index 2020, managers reported stress less often than employees without leadership responsibility; Swiss broadcaster SRF put this down to the greater resources that come with the position.

The resources of the position, then, apparently protect. One of them is the room to decide for yourself – and that is exactly what a decision backlog blocks: you have the room but do not use it while the decision is pending.

When the doctor is the right address: clear criteria

I do not diagnose. The points below are not a checklist for an illness but the observations that make me send you to your GP first, before we talk about decisions:

• Poor sleep for more than three weeks, regardless of what the day held.
• A free weekend or two weeks away bring no recovery.
• Physical complaints that are new or do not fade.
• You drink more, or use something to function or to sleep.
• You feel hopeless or have thoughts of harming yourself. Then do not wait for an appointment with me: your GP, a psychotherapist, the Dargebotene Hand helpline on 143, in an emergency 144.
• Things you used to enjoy have left you indifferent for weeks.

If none of these applies and you can think clearly once you are in a quiet room, a conversation about your open decisions is the right frame. If one applies, see a doctor first; that does not rule out sparring, it sets the order. More on the boundary in When you need a therapist, and when a sparring partner is enough. And yes, a visit to a doctor is documented; that is no reason to avoid it, since doctors are bound by professional secrecy under Art. 321 of the Swiss Criminal Code and nothing in that file reaches your employer without your consent.

What a conversation outside the firm, HR and any file does

A sparring session does not replace the doctor. It does something else: someone with no stake in the outcome sorts your open decisions with you by deadline and weight and asks of each what actually stops you. In 60 minutes, a backlog of five questions often comes down to one on which the others hang.

That it happens outside the firm and HR is a condition, not a convenience: you cannot speak openly with the board, your co-owner or the people team about whether you stay. Everyone there has an interest; I have none.

And the file? I keep none: no recordings, brief notes destroyed no later than 12 months after we finish. Confidentiality is agreed in writing and applies towards employer, family and business partners alike. It has three limits, named before we start: a legally binding order from a court or authority, an acute danger to life and limb, and a child’s welfare. I do not have professional secrecy as doctors and lawyers do; my confidentiality rests on our agreement and the Swiss Data Protection Act.

In practice, sparring means 60 minutes at your home, in your office or in a quiet place of your choice, travel included within 60 minutes’ drive of Wetzikon; 90 minutes on request, online also possible. By arrangement: mostly in the evening, on Mondays also during the day, and on Saturdays and Sundays. The fee depends on the format and the length; I tell you what it is in the first, confidential conversation, before you decide. Often one conversation is enough. For a single decision with a deadline, see A decision under time pressure; for the difference to coach, consultant and therapist, see who does what.

In short

If you function but have no energy for your own decisions, you are often stuck in a backlog of open questions. Whether an illness lies behind it is for your GP to judge; if poor sleep lasts more than three weeks or a holiday brings no recovery, the doctor comes first. Once that is settled, a conversation outside the firm, HR and any file often brings the backlog down to one question that can be decided.