Sparring in confidence
Think out loud – with an honest counterpart, no programme.
Sparring is a confidential conversation with someone who has no stake in what you decide: you bring your question – about the family, the company or both – and I bring the view from outside. At your home, in your office, on a walk or online.
The first conversation: 20 minutes, free – not a sales call.
What people bring
Perhaps you’ll find your own words here.
A few examples – personal, family, business. They show how wide the field is – not where it ends.
Personal
- “On the outside everything works. Inside, something no longer fits.”
- “I have to decide something nobody may know about yet.”
Family
Business
Transitions
- “My husband took care of everything. Now I have to decide – and everyone knows better.”
- “My retirement is planned. What I want afterwards isn’t.”
- “New to Switzerland – settled in at work, not yet anywhere else.”
More examples
Personal
- “I’ve achieved what I set out to. Why doesn’t it feel like it?”
- “Who around me can I really trust?”
Family
- “How do I talk to my father about his will without sounding greedy?”
- “Family and business are getting tangled. Where do I draw the line?”
- “I worry that money will take the ambition out of my children.”
- “Our parents are getting older. Between us siblings it’s getting tight.”
Business
- “The figures for a sale are ready. Whether I want to sell, I don’t know.”
- “I’m facing a decision that will hurt someone – whichever way I decide.”
- “Am I missing something everyone can see and nobody says?”
- “I’ve been offered a board seat. Do I really want it?”
- “We run the company as a married couple – and only talk about the company.”
Transitions
- “The company has been sold. Now I don’t know who I am without it.”
- “I’m thinking about separating and haven’t told anyone yet.”
- “I want to take a year off. I just don’t know whether I’m running away or have a plan.”
- “After twenty years in Switzerland, we feel the pull back home – just not both of us equally.”
- “I sit on the family foundation board and don’t know what I want there.”
- “The children have left home. And I no longer know what I want for myself.”
Questions I tend to ask
When I hear sentences like these, I start with questions. My own view comes afterwards – if you want to hear it.
- What is the one thing you can’t discuss openly with the people around you?
- What decision have you been postponing although you know it needs attention?
- Who has a personal interest in the advice you’re currently getting?
- What does everyone around you believe that you privately disagree with?
- Where are you confusing loyalty with obligation?
You only answer the ones you want to.
Your question isn’t here? It doesn’t need to be. Tell me about it in the first, confidential conversation.
or call directly: +41 78 239 12 12
How it works
From first contact to your next step.
A calm conversation with a direction: by the end you know what comes next for you – even if that means deliberately waiting for now.
Before
Confidential conversation
You send me a message through the contact form or give me a call: +41 78 239 12 12. A first name and a phone number or e-mail address are enough; you don’t have to describe your situation. I get back to you myself – only by the route you give, and never with a message that says what it is about.
In the confidential conversation – about 20 minutes by phone or video, free of charge – you tell me briefly what it’s about and ask me whatever you want to know. It is not a sales call. Then you decide, in your own time, whether to book a session.
There’s nothing to prepare. No questionnaire, no documents, no summary. Just bring whatever is on your mind.
During the session
Listen
You tell me what’s going on, in your own words and at your own pace. I listen without rushing to label things, and I pay attention to what goes unsaid. Often things start to fall into place just in the telling.
Ask
I ask where something is unclear, test assumptions and point out what’s missing. Some questions will be uncomfortable. You only answer the ones you want to.
Mirror
I tell you what I see – from several angles, including the uncomfortable one. Respectfully, but without flattery. Feel free to push back: that’s often where it gets interesting.
Next step
At the end we pin down what has become clearer and what you’ll do next: a decision, a conversation you’re going to have – or, deliberately, nothing yet. The step is yours, not mine.
Afterwards
What is different after a session
After a 60-minute session your situation is the same. What changes is how clearly you see it. Often that means:
- You know your real question – often not the one you came with.
- You have said out loud what you hadn’t told anyone before. Once something has been said out loud, you can start to sort through it.
- You know who has an interest in which answer, and you weigh the advice you get accordingly.
- You go to your specialists with your questions sorted, and give your lawyer, fiduciary or bank a clearer brief.
What doesn’t change: the decision stays with you. And no one learns from me that we have spoken – the limits of that promise are set out under Confidentiality.
A short note – if you’d like one
On request, I’ll send you a brief written note after the session: the key points and the step you’ve set yourself. Rarely more than half a page – and only to the address you give me.
A check-in – if it helps
If you like, I’ll get in touch after an agreed time and ask how your step is going. Whether and when is up to you.
Your counterpart
Who you’ll be talking to.
I’m Winn Chelini, a mechanical engineer from Wetzikon ZH. For over ten years I have worked on industrial engineering and IT projects – as project lead, team lead and technical architect, with many people involved and conflicting interests.
As a project lead, I went years without anyone openly disagreeing with me. And since a break in my own life, I know how long one can keep functioning on the outside while, inside, things no longer fit.
I have never sat on a board and never sold a company. I don’t know your situation from the inside – but I can see it from the outside.
Principles
What sparring is – and what it isn’t.
Consulting delivers recommendations, coaching a method with goals and exercises, and psychotherapy treats. Sparring is none of these: I listen, ask questions and tell you openly what I see. The decision stays with you.
Independent
No mandate, no commission, no stake in the outcome. I have no partners at banks, asset managers or law firms, and I neither take nor pay commission.
Confidential
Agreed in writing – including the fact that we work together. Where confidentiality ends, I tell you beforehand.
One counterpart
You always talk to me: no team, no handover, no stand-in.
Alongside your specialists
Law, tax and finance stay with your specialists. I replace no one – I help you sort out your question first.
Sparring isn’t
- Not psychotherapy. I do not diagnose. If you need more than a conversation, I’ll tell you openly.
- Not legal, tax, financial or investment advice. That’s what licensed specialists are for. I’ll tell you when it’s time to bring one in.
- Not agreement at any price. Nor motivation on demand. If I see something differently, I’ll say so.
More points
- Not management consulting. I don’t analyse your company, write strategy papers or take on a mandate.
- Not a programme. No exercises, no homework, no method you have to learn first.
- Not a decision I make for you. The responsibility stays with you. That’s deliberate – it’s the only way a decision sticks.
Sparring is
- Your topic, your pace. You decide the topic and how deep we go. I’m your counterpart, not your teacher.
- A view from outside. No mandate, no commission and no stake in which way you decide.
- Honest feedback. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Respectful, direct and without flattery.
- Pushback, or simply an open ear. Sometimes you need pushback, sometimes just someone who listens. Both are possible – in the same conversation.
- Questions that move things on. I test assumptions, name contradictions and ask about what’s missing.
- Room to think out loud. Without having to mind your role, your reputation or anyone else’s expectations.
- As much as you need. Often a single conversation is enough. There’s only another one if you want it.
Where my role ends
Chelini offers conversation and sparring for people who are fundamentally healthy and able to act. It is not psychotherapy and not psychological or medical counselling or treatment, and does not replace them.
The full wording
Chelini offers conversation and sparring for people who are fundamentally healthy and able to act. It is not psychotherapy and not psychological or medical counselling or treatment, and does not replace them. I do not diagnose. I also do not give legal, tax, financial or investment advice.
If a conversation reveals an acute crisis, a possible mental-health condition or a question that needs a specialist, I will tell you openly and help you find the right professional. The decisions you make on the basis of our conversations remain your own.
In an acute crisis, don’t wait for a session with me: Die Dargebotene Hand helpline 143 · emergency 144 · More services in the Zürich area
Confidentiality and its limits
Confidential. With its limits stated openly.
Trust doesn’t come from big promises but from clear ones. So here is exactly what applies.
What I promise you
What you tell me stays confidential. Under our written agreement I undertake to keep everything I learn in our conversations confidential – including the fact that we work together. This applies towards all third parties, including family, business partners and employers, and continues after our work together ends.
- Conflict of interest
- If I already talk with someone from your family, your company or the other side, I decline – without naming anyone.
- Client in the background
- None. Even if your company or your spouse pays the invoice, I report to no one – not even that we met.
- Referral
- I talk to no one about you – not even the person who referred you.
- Recordings
- None. I do not record conversations.
- Working notes
- Brief. Stored securely and destroyed no later than 12 months after we finish.
- Disclosure
- Only if you authorise me explicitly and in writing.
- References
- No references, no testimonials, no client list – not even on request.
Where confidentiality ends
I state these limits in advance – not only once they come into play.
- Limits
- Where a court or authority legally compels me. And in an acute danger to someone’s life or safety or to a child’s welfare – wherever possible after speaking with you.
- Professional secrecy
- None of the kind doctors or lawyers have – Art. 321 of the Swiss Criminal Code does not apply to me. My confidentiality rests on our agreement and on the Swiss Data Protection Act.
- NDA
- If you prefer your own, I will sign it, provided it respects the three limits above.
The full wording
I do not record conversations. I keep only brief notes, store them securely and destroy them no later than 12 months after we finish.
So that you know exactly what you can rely on: I am not a doctor, lawyer or psychologist. The statutory professional secrecy of Art. 321 of the Swiss Criminal Code does not apply to me, and I have no professional right to refuse testimony like doctors or lawyers. My confidentiality rests on our agreement and on the Swiss Data Protection Act.
It ends where a court or authority legally compels me to testify or hand over documents. It also ends in an emergency: if your life or safety, or someone else’s, is seriously at risk, or a child’s welfare is endangered, I will alert emergency services or the competent authority – wherever possible after speaking with you.
Beyond that, I share nothing unless you authorise me explicitly and in writing.
Instead of references: put me to the test.
There are no client testimonials here for the same reason your name will never appear on a list. Instead, check what can be checked. Ask me in the confidential conversation:
- Do I have a stake in the outcome?
- Do I take mandates, commission or follow-up assignments?
- Do I tell you the fee before you decide?
- Is confidentiality agreed in writing, with its limits stated?
- Do I tell you when I’m not the right person – and who I refer you to?
My answers are on this page. Take me at my word. Operator, commercial register and UID: Imprint.
Places and formats
Somewhere you can speak freely. You choose where.
An open conversation needs a place where nobody interrupts and nobody overhears. I come to wherever that is for you – or we talk online.
Recommended
On-site sparring
60 minutes
At your home, your office or a quiet place of your choice
You don’t have to walk into a practice. At home: familiar surroundings, no travel, no audience. At your office: usually in the evening, once it is quiet, or during the day on Mondays. Or a quiet hotel lounge of your choosing.
Walk & talk
60 minutes
By the lake or in the woods – route chosen together
Along Lake Zürich or Lake Zug, through the woods or on a path you know. Side by side rather than face to face – talking often comes more easily that way.
Remote sparring
60 minutes
Video or phone
When it has to be soon, when you’re travelling, or for a follow-up. The same approach, the same confidentiality.
Ongoing sparring over several months
The same person, who comes to know your situation over time: conversations and short calls before important decisions. Billed per conversation like any other – no flat fee, and you can stop at any time.
On request
For a first session I recommend meeting in person where possible: 60 minutes in the same room go deeper than the same time on a screen. But you don’t need to know in advance which format suits you. We can work that out in the first, confidential conversation.
When you learn the fee
The fee is fixed and depends on the format and the length of the conversation, never on who you are. I tell you what it is in the confidential conversation – before the first session, not after. If you would like to know it beforehand, I will also tell you by e-mail or phone, without you having to book a call.
Good to know
- Length
- 60 minutes – in person, on a walk or online · 90 minutes on request. The confidential conversation beforehand takes about 20 minutes and is free.
- Travel
- Included anywhere within 60 minutes’ drive of Wetzikon: the city of Zürich and both lake shores, Winterthur, the Gold Coast, Zug, Baar, Cham and Rotkreuz, Wollerau and Pfäffikon SZ, Rapperswil-Jona and Einsiedeln. Lucerne, Meggen and Hergiswil by arrangement.
- Language
- English or German, or a mix of the two.
- Billing
- Per session, no subscription, no package.
- Payment
- By invoice (10 days) or TWINT, to you or your company. The invoice shows the format and the date, not your topic.
- Cancellation
- Up to 24 hours before the session at no charge.
Questions
What people often ask before the first conversation.
Who is sparring for?
For people with something to sort out that they can’t discuss with just anyone – in the family, in a marriage, after an inheritance, in their own company or after selling it. Many own a business; many don’t. All of them need the same thing: an independent, discreet counterpart who sells nothing and is not part of the family. Whether it is personal or business matters little; often it is both. You can also come with a question that has no name yet – it is best sorted out before it turns into a dispute. The only requirement is that you can, and want to, decide for yourself.
Is sparring for personal questions too?
Yes. The conversation is the same as for a business question – two people, confidential, no programme. Many people come with something that concerns only them or their family. You will find examples under What people bring; the note When you need a therapist, and when a sparring partner is enough explains where sparring ends and therapy begins.
I just need to talk something through – is that reason enough?
Yes. You don’t have to know what you need before we talk. Sometimes there is no decision, just something you cannot say to anyone around you – because everyone is involved, or because there is no one. Then I listen, ask where it helps, and keep my opinion to myself until you want to hear it. Often the question only becomes visible in the telling. What sparring is not: psychotherapy. If you are in acute distress, call the Dargebotene Hand helpline on 143 (English line 0800 143 000, 6–11 pm); in an emergency call 144. For everything else, it starts with a confidential conversation.
Is one session enough for a decision – and how quickly can I get an appointment?
Often a single 60-minute session is enough to think a decision through and settle the next step. Whether it is enough depends on how far your question is already clarified; some people come back before their next decision; nobody is obliged to. Timing: for the first, confidential conversation we usually find a slot within a few days, an on-site session within one to two weeks, online often sooner. If you have a deadline, say so in the confidential conversation; I will look for an early slot – I cannot guarantee one. More in the note A decision under time pressure.
Can I stay anonymous?
For the initial confidential conversation, a first name is enough. For an invoice I need a name and an address – it can be made out to a company. Anything beyond that is up to you; I do not need to know your company, your role or your surname. The invoice shows the format and the date, not your topic. To third parties I do not mention that we know each other; the same contractual limits apply as for the content of our conversations – a court or authority, an acute danger to life or safety, a threat to a child’s welfare.
What if it is not the right fit?
Then say so – after the initial confidential conversation or after the first session. You owe me no reason. There is no obligation to book more and no package to get out of. If I feel I am not the right person for your question, I will tell you just as openly and, where I can, name a suitable professional. Sparring only works when both sides are there by choice.
Sparring partner or coach – what is the difference?
A coach works with a method and questions on your development; a sparring partner tells you openly what he sees and pushes back. Many coaches give no opinion as a matter of principle. In sparring you get one – reasoned, respectful, and with the reminder that you decide. There is no programme, no exercises, no homework. The line is not sharp; I trained as a coach and use some of its questioning techniques, not its method. What differs is the goal: not your development, but a decision you can stand behind. More in the note Sparring partner, coach, mentor or consultant.
Is this psychotherapy?
No. Sparring is for people who are fundamentally healthy and able to act, and who want an honest outside view. It is not psychotherapy or medical counselling and does not replace either. I do not diagnose and I do not treat. In Switzerland, psychotherapy is a regulated health service provided by licensed professionals; sparring is a conversation between two adults about a decision or a conflict. If it becomes clear that you need a specialist, I will tell you openly and help you find the right one.
Who is sparring not suitable for?
Sparring is not suitable for people in an acute crisis or with health problems that belong with a doctor, a psychotherapist or the emergency services. Nor is it right if you want an expert report, a company analysis, legal or tax advice or an investment recommendation. And if you want confirmation of a decision already made, you will meet questions rather than agreement. If I see in the confidential conversation beforehand that I am not the right person, I will tell you – and tell you who might be.
If your question isn’t answered here, ask it in the confidential conversation.
The confidential conversation. No obligation.
Twenty minutes by phone or video. You don’t need to prepare or explain anything. Afterwards you will know whether my way of working suits you. I read every enquiry myself – from the first contact to the last conversation, you deal with the same person.
or call directly:Call: +41 78 239 12 12
